Judgment Day

The strangest thing happened in church last Sunday.
The priest was giving a sermon on the importance
Of tradition when, to everyone's surprise,
The power went out and the church went dark.
After the initial shock, everyone was silent.
Then, to our surprise, a spotlight shone
On the crucifix, and the statue of Jesus
Came to life. He looked up, smiling,
And then a loud, thumping hip-hop beat
Started to play, making the pews vibrate
And the stained-glass windows rattle.
Jesus removed himself from the cross,
Stepped onto the podium,
And began clapping his hands to the beat.
We all followed his lead.
Then Jesus began to dance.
He did back flips, pop-and-locks,
And moonwalked across the stage.
The priest, amazed, had to scoot out of his way.
Then, Jesus grabbed the collection plate.
He started throwing money over his shoulder,
The way the great rappers do.
Then he started throwing money into the crowd,
But this was too much.
The priest and several altar boys
Grabbed him, and, against his will
Replaced him on the cross.
The music stopped, the lights came on,
And the priest, though visibly shaken,
Resumed the sermon as if nothing had happened.